chapter 5: rainbow lions
Tonight I rocked and fed Maggie in her nursery and I caught myself looking at this picture. I wondered if she would ever wake up and be afraid. I thought about teaching her how this picture reminds her father and I of Aslan who points to Christ. I thought about reading the stories of Narnia to her and filling her heart with hope and adventure. And I hoped that she would wake up and feel safe at this Lion looking at her. I hoped it would remind her of God who faithfully watches over her.
As I thought these things a single word came to mind that encompassed so many of the thoughts and prayers I’ve had lately as I’ve read the stories of Joan of Arc, Susanna Wesley, Hannah More, Saint Maria of Paris, and Corrie ten Boom. I thought about the word courage. I sat down and wrote out my letter and prayer to Maggie with a heavy heart. Most of me doesn’t want her to need courage. In my flesh I want her to always live in perfect peace and perfect comfort and to never face any hardship. But I know that, this side of Heaven, that is impossible. I also know that my greatest desire for her should be intimacy with Christ, and that that comes from walking steadily with Him through the valleys and mountain tops. I also know that this world is broken, and that she will face difficulties. And for all those reasons and more, I pray for courage for my sweet daughter. Tonight I prayed this prayer for Maggie.
I want to pray for courage for you. I don’t know what lies ahead. I don’t know what seasons you will walk through. But I pray that when you walk through the valley you can look upon your Heavenly Father and feel brave, just like a little girl waking up from a nightmare in the middle of the night. I pray you know you are always watched upon and never alone. I just finished the story of Corrie Ten Boom in Eric Metaxas’ book. I’ve enjoyed reading about Joan of Arc, Susanna Wesley, Hannah Moore, Saint Maria of Paris, and Corrie ten Boom. As I’ve read these stories there are so many things I’ve hoped and prayed for for you. But tonight the word courage came to mind.
Courage to never lose hope in the face of adversity and those that would challenge truth.
Courage to believe in yourself when others don’t.
Courage to forgive those who hurt you and help those who rebuff you.
Courage to speak truth to those in authority and call out the wicked.
Courage to let yourself be vulnerable and weep over brokenness.
Courage to fill in the gap when there is a void.
Courage to create.
Courage to face your own personal weakness.
Courage to surround yourself with people that challenge you.
Courage to be ok in seasons of singleness, courage to wait.
Courage to use your gifts for God’s service.
Courage to take on big issues because you serve a big God.
Courage to stand up for justice and for the poor, even when it’s not popular.
Courage to see the dignity of others and love them radically.
Courage when your find yourself standing up for what’s right, caught between opposing critics on both sides.
Courage to protect the vulnerable.
Courage to forgive those who persecute you.
And as Saint Maria of Paris said, courage to face “the demand to strain all [your] forces, not fearing the most difficult endeavor, in ascetic self-restraint, giving [your] soul for others sacrificially and lovingly, to follow in Christ’s footsteps to [your] appointed Golgotha.”
My heart feels heavy. My heart aches when I see Maggie straining from her premature GI system. How can I even imagine her suffering and pray for it now? But I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I get to teach her about a Savior who watches over her and walks with her through it all. Who has prepared a place where there is no suffering or death. He is her warrior and He has defeated death. I get to read her stories of Rahab, Joshua, Joseph, Mary, David, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendego and so many others. I have the honor of clinging to the cross with her and holding fast to the One who demonstrated ultimate courage. I can teach her that we can be brave because He was brave.
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.
— Deuteronomy 31:6
