chapter 2: the day you were born
The next day was a long one. Somehow the minutes felt like hours but time also seemed irrelevant. It all just blurred together. Your father was wonderful and took over communicating with our friends and family. The doctors had given me magnesium for my blood pressure and were carefully observing me. Your dad, always the jokester, said, “Your operations and I’m communication.”
We met with the doctors and nurses over and over again. There were two teams, one OB and one family medicine. I kept asking about their reasoning and what they were waiting on or what they were looking for. I also wanted to make sure they were all in agreement with your plan of care. For hours it was hard for me to take my eyes away from the screen that told us your oxygen levels and heart rate. I just wanted you to be healthy and ok. They wanted us to try for a vaginal birth, we were at a top rate hospital that had all the facilities in case an emergency happened. I trusted them, they carefully explained the logic and how carefully they were observing you. However, there were a few scary moments - including one where 6 people rushed at once to turn me on my side. Your heart rate had dropped scary low. You weren’t responding well to the pitocin. I spoke w/ my primary care on the phone and she encouraged me to keep asking questions and communicating my concerns. I directly told them, “I am not emotionally attached to a vaginal birth, all I care about is her being healthy. When will we know that it’s healthier for her to be on the OUTSIDE than the inside?” Some women have a strong longing for either vaginal or c-section. I didn’t care. I just wanted you to be ok.
It’s hard to feel so out of control. We hadn’t planned on this timeline. You were early. We hadn’t planned on coming in that day and trusting so many strangers. I had to keep reminding myself that God was in control. He had done this. He had a plan and was wiser than me and all of UNC combined. And you know what? He knew waiting was important. The waiting gave the doctors time to give you two steroid shots for your lungs. This would matter later. You never needed anything above room air support and were on a CPAP only for a few hours. The respiratory therapist couldn’t believe it. And I don’t think it was long after that 2nd steroid shot that they decided to move forward with the c-section (but again, time all blurred together). What we didn’t know was that there was a 9 cm fibroid in my uterus. My friend has lovingly called it your “buddy” but we’ve named it James after James and the Giant Peach. I can’t remember who it was but some medical professional said it was the size of a peach. All kidding aside, it limited your movement and possibly took part in you being so small. But you’re here. You’re healthy. You’re safe. And I’m glad they didn’t know because if they had we wouldn’t have waited for a vaginal birth and you wouldn’t have had those two shots.
They quickly wheeled me into the operating room. The epidural from the morning was still working but they numbed me even more. The barrier went up to shield the view. They cut me open and took you out. There were so many people in the room that we didn’t know. I remember shaking, they said it was normal. But then there was peace. Somehow I knew God would work it out. The anesthesiologist couldn’t believe how calm I was. That is such a testament to God little girl. God had poured out His peace on us, we’d meet you soon. He also brought our doctor to hold my hand. She wasn’t on call but while she was making dinner for her family she heard God say that I needed her to come. She was there to hold my hand when they took you out and took you away. I didn’t even get to see you (other than the quick photos your dad snapped with his phone). I couldn’t get up because of the epidural and the magnesium. It would be 30 hours until I was allowed to see you but that’s another day. For now I want to copy/paste the post I put online to update our prayer warriors. Those were the hardest 30 hours of my life, waiting to see you, hoping you’re ok, still feeling so incredibly out of control and having to trust strangers. But again God reminded us of His providence. He was your Great Physician.
I’m laying here amazed at the goodness of God. We’ve had a lot of “moments” ... moments of excitement, fear, confusion, worry. Moments where I looked over to Adam and was just thankful to see him praying. Moments of being overwhelmed by your texts and messages- what an amazing community we have that has surrounded us with prayers and love. We spent a lot of Tuesday with an unclear path. Our doctors were so good to us and shared their thinking and processing openly. Basically we were in a waiting game, waiting to see how my blood pressure responded to the medicine and how Maggie responded to the Pitocin and my contractions. Time marched on and she showed some worrisome signs but then would rally. One moment it seemed like we were moving towards a vaginal birth and another I was quickly told to change positions because her heart beat had dropped to a very scary number. But waiting all that time gave us the opportunity to give her a second steroid for lung development. Finally late in the night our team decided to move forward with the c-section which revealed a fibroid the size of a peach that had been contributing to her lack of growth. We had no idea. God knew. So, all in all, we waited long enough for Maggie to get the 2nd steroid but not too long for it to be an emergency. The c-section lasted a little longer because of that but the outcome is a beautiful 3 lb 6 oz little girl who we couldn’t adore more. We have so much to be grateful for. Please keep praying for -
1. Our doctors and nurses that have gone above and beyond in their competency, compassion, time, and gentleness. Pray specifically for those in the NICU working with Maggie now.
2. Pray for our daughter (I love saying that!) for 3 specific things - her continued breathing development, her weight gain, and feeding. She’s currently getting support from a CPAP with room air but nothing more. Also, I’m hoping my body can “catch up” to what she needs even though we were early at 34 weeks.
3. PRAISE - my blood pressure has been basically back to normal since Maggie was born. But to be cautious they have me taking one more day of medication to support this. For some reason I am SUPER dizzy. Would you pray this would resolve quickly? I’m eager to feel better and work on helping Maggie with feedings. Please also pray for my recovery with the c-section. Overall it went well despite the unexpected fibroid.
4. Also one more HUGE GIGANTIC PRAISE- The rules have changed, Adam can visit her from home after we’re discharged from my c-section recovery!! We just have to come in one at a time and one per day. Woohoo!!! You guys are prayer WARRIORS!
That’s all I’ve got for now sweet friends! Thank you for jumping in and praying!! We are humbled and abundantly grateful you’re in it with us!
April, Adam, and Maggie ❤️
